Sunday, April 26, 2020

Unexpected Blessing: Annie’s Song and the Divine Feminine


One of the rare opportunities for pastors during this season of social distancing and digital worship is the chance we have to “attend” the services of other churches and to be led in worship ourselves. It’s like being a chef and having the opportunity to enjoy a meal that you didn’t have to prepare. I have been blessed by the work of some of my friends and colleagues and consider this a special gift.

The morning of April 26th, just as I got home from sharing our own online worship service at First UMC – West Memphis, I turned on Facebook and saw a friend of mine who is a United Methodist pastor in Whitefish, Montana. Morie and I had met at an Academy for Spiritual Formation at Flathead Lake near Kalispell back in the fall. Their worship service was just about to begin as I got home.

As the service began, it became clear that we were joining Pastor Morie and his family in their home for worship. Morie’s spouse Erin brought out her guitar and sang, “Let Us Break Bread Together,” that great Communion song, and I began to get into the spirit of worship. The next thing she did caught me by complete surprise and touched me right to the heart.

Accompanied only by soft chords on her guitar, our worship leader began to sing John Denver’s “Annie’s Song” (1974):

You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again

Come let me love you
Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

You fill up my senses
Like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime
Like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert
Like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses
Come fill me again 

As I heard her sing this song my eyes began to fill with tears. Growing up in the years when John Denver was active, I remembered hearing this song many times during his performing life and after his untimely death. He said he "wrote this song in about ten-and-a-half minutes one day on a ski lift" after having "just skied down a very difficult run" and being inspired by the beauty all around him and being moved to write this heartfelt ode expressing his love for his wife, Annie. 

When I remember this song, I remember that tragically, his marriage to his beloved Annie did not survive John’s troubled and volatile personality, and he himself would be gone all too soon.

Over the years I had often been brought to melancholy by hearing this song and remembering the circumstances, but now on Sunday morning, so many years after its release, I was hearing this lyric celebration of both nature’s beauty and romantic love now being sung as a worship song.

Hearing a young mom from the Rocky Mountain West singing this as a love song to God moved me in places too deep for mere emotion. I will never hear this song in the same way again.

Now most people who know me, know that I am a “man’s man.” After all, I eat animals and drive pickup trucks and all of that. I am in no way an expert on feminine spirituality. But as a trained spiritual director and student of nature, I also know that the divine feminine is active in all of our psyches whether we are male or female, and how we relate makes a difference in how we integrate our spiritual lives.

The saints and mystics of old would often refer to God as the divine Beloved, and now many contemporary Christian lyrics are love-song lyrics to God, as are many of the Psalms and the Song of Solomon/Song of Songs in the Bible. Bringing “Annie’s Song” into church and making it “God’s Song”’ is a beautiful way to continue the tradition. So, thank you, Erin, for this profound and delightful surprise. You have changed forever the way I will hear this song.

                        Come let me love you
                        Let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter
Let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you
Let me always be with you
Come let me love you
Come love me again

2 comments:

Beauty From Ashes, Ltd. said...

John Denver's songs are sacred to me, having heard his Sunshine on My Shoulders when I was in high school and fallen in love with him right then and there. Haha. But Annie's Song is also sacred, in its way, as the second of his songs I ever heard, and popular when I met my future husband. It's been a journey of mourning for both the singer for my marriage, listening to the memorial CDs in my car when I drive to my mom's in Coos Bay (4 hour trip). I've learned so many new songs by him, but the ones about Annie always jerk the heart and the tears come out.

Thank you for giving this already sacred song a new meaning for me!! <3 Thanks for alerting me to its posting. :) I'm glad to read more from you. Peace, ASF brother.

Unknown said...

This song has touched me since my college years. My wife and I each chose a song to celebrate our 10 years together, and I chose this one. My mother-in-law and father-in-law (an awesome tenor) sang it. We strive to always acknowledge the divine feminine in our home and in our relationships. Thank you for writing and posting this article.